Polar Opposites
by Acier Glace
Summary: or A Story of Pineapple Upside-down Cake. Sasuke was straighter than the stick up his ass. Naruto was more bent than a Crazy Straw. It was a match made in Heaven. SasuNaru


Disclaimer: I have no rights what-so-ever to Naruto or anything affiliated with Naruto.

I do, however, have this cute little story that gets a lot more detailed than my last. If you have been to my AFF account, you'll have noticed that this story was published first. Rage Spread Thin is my first Naruto story. It was my baby. I but a lot of effort and research into that fic. Polar Opposites was born when the creative juices just wouldn't flow. It was finished first and posted first, but Rage Spread thin is my first story.

I decided to post it here even though it does get a little...intimate... and hope you all enjoy it!

Warnings: Language, mentions of violence, mature language, mature content, sexual content, highly inappropriate behavior and lewdness. Please enjoy.

-X-X-

Polar Opposites

or

A Story of Pineapple Upside-down Cake

-X-

"What the hell is that?" Kiba poked it in the side and Naruto swatted his hand irritably.

"I already told you. It's a PINEAPPLE!" He growled and pushed the dog-breathed idiot out of his kitchen for the final time. He'd been interrupted one too many times already. He'd never get the damn thing finished.

"But what is it for?" Kiba couldn't seem to get it through his head that he should just drop it.

"I'm making a cake."

"With a pineapple?! What for?" Again, he seemed utterly aghast. He felt his eyebrow twitch.

"I'm making a cake for the cake-walk. You're supposed to make one too."

Kiba waved a hand absently. "I'll just buy one. Nearly everyone just buys one. What kind of cake needs fruit? It is a fruit, right?"

"Yes, it's a god-damned fruit. And a Pineapple Upside-down cake needs pineapple."

"Upside-down cake?"

Kiba was then shoved into the hall with the demand that he had better leave Naruto the fuck alone for the rest of the day. The door jingled open and Naruto whipped back.

"Dammit, Kiba, leave!"

"Excuse me?"

Dammit. Just his luck.

"It's you." Yay. Sasuke was home. Not. The bastard raised one eyebrow and then brushed by him, apparently just returning from whatever miracle had kept him away for the week. The light jacket was tossed onto the coat rack, and the black and red snowboard was propped by the door. Naruto frowned as his surf board was jarred and refrained from rushing over to check it. The bag was dropped by the kitchen door and he was brushed past with barely any acknowledgment.

"What the hell?" He grimaced, now he'd have to explain to the bastard what he was doing. Why couldn't he have stayed even one more day away?

"It's a pineapple. I'm making a cake." He came into the kitchen and was slightly surprised that Sasuke was not in fact exclaiming over the mess on the counter, but the emptiness in the fridge.

"Did you order take-out all week or just forget to shop?"

"Hinata came over and cooked. I was going shopping after I finished the cake." He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway. "If I knew you would be back today, I would have went shopping earlier." He sent the other a pointed glare which was, as always, ignored.

"Hn." The fridge was shut and the pantry open. After some fiddling, he pulled out a wad of cash and counted it out before replacing some of it. "I'll be back."

Naruto's glare just increased. He knew they had food money but he wasn't sure where the bastard hid it. Now he was pissed. He'd spent plenty of his own money grocery shopping only to find it gone quickly. The bastard ate like a bottomless pit.

He glared as he heard the door slam shut, sighing. This was the most customary formula for their interaction. Naruto and Sasuke mixed like oil and water. Ending up roommates at the same college spelled instant doom. They just never agreed on anything and they found this out the hard way. Sasuke snowboarded; Naruto surfed. Sasuke liked peace and quiet; Naruto had to throw a party every weekend. Sasuke was bitchier than Naruto's last girlfriend; Naruto was loud and open. Sasuke had a stick up his ass; Naruto had more fun than a blond Valley girl. Sasuke was pure blooded Japanese, Naruto was half. Sasuke was straighter than the stick up his ass; Naruto was more bent than a Crazy Straw.

Match made in Heaven.

Sometimes he cursed his unlucky fate. He was quite certain that there bad luck followed him around. After all, how did that explain his roommate situation? How else to explain his "missing" passport that delayed his return to Japan? How else to explain why he'd been stopped in security, forced into a full body search, lost his luggage, caught a cab to the wrong school, arrived late for orientation, and insulted the school's most popular couple, quite accidentally, when he finally made it? He was just lucky that he didn't explode the stove in his culinary class.

He set to his task though. He wasn't quite sure if anyone would know what the cake was, judging by Kiba's reaction. It wasn't an unheard of dessert but apparently, it was elusive. He'd fallen in love with it in America, and it was relatively easy to make. Granted, before he'd used a box recipe and this was the first time he'd made it from scratch like this. He only hoped it tasted good.

He heard Sasuke arrive when he took his cake out of the over, bags ladled in his arms. He ignored the bastard in favor of inspecting his cake. There was silence as they bustled around the room, and it grated on his spine. His back was stiff with the effort of holding still and ignoring his roommate, while Sasuke seemed relaxed and nonchalant. It made Naruto want to choke him.

"Finished with the stove?" He jumped slightly and nodded, moving his cake to the counter to cool. It smelled great and looked delicious. He caught Sasuke glancing at it in the corner of his eye and grinned when he realized that there was nothing the bastard could say. He probably wasn't sure what it was supposed to look like finished. Naruto held back the superior smirk when Sasuke turned back to the stove without any comment.

This was also a very rare formula. Sometimes, Naruto, in his amazing culinary skills, would concoct something that Sasuke couldn't criticize. It was the little moments like this that he was glad he lived with the prick. If he managed to impress the bastard into silence then his professor would be more than satisfied with his work. It was like he had a professional chef over his shoulder to critique his work. He fanned it with his hand, recognizing the sounds Sasuke was making with the dishes. He'd probably want to high tail it before he got involved.

He fled to the hall, taking the moment he was away from the bastard to correct his surfboard. He brushed a hand over the bright orange board, giving it the same kind of love and attention he had when he bought it. He glared at Sasuke's board and nudged it slightly so it was out place in Sasuke's obsessively neat half of the hall. Sasuke would know the difference immediately but he felt better after that minute revenge. He headed into their living room, turning up the volume on the television.

He wasn't quite sure how much time passed but before he knew it, Sasuke was thrusting a plate under his nose and sitting down at the chair off on his right. He raised an eyebrow, but refrained from saying anything. He survived without Sasuke here to cook dinner, mostly because, while he was a good cook, he specialized in dessert and Hinata came over to cook dinner for him. The oven and stove seemed to know the difference when he cooked one or the other and every meal he cooked ended up ruined and inedible. He was thankful that she seemed to be the opposite and nearly cursed the fact that he was as straight as a circle. Unfortunately, this meant Sasuke had to cook unless he desired take-out and left Naruto to his dessert. In an unfair turn of events, Sasuke had a nearly unhealthy hatred of sweets. Naruto wasn't sure why.

He ate only just realizing how hungry he was. Rent and dinner were the only two things he appreciated about Sasuke. He had, at first, had eye candy on the list, but the bastard personality distracted him from Sasuke's freakishly good looks. That and the fan club that had once stalked both of them, at separate times, to this very apartment. Naruto didn't, contrary to popular belief, have a death wish. He survived their wrath when they knew he was only living with the bastard. He he began to covet their idol he was certain, with his luck, his body would never be found. He took Sasuke's empty plate to the kitchen when he left, the move mechanical.

They lived together long enough to settle on a very precarious truce. They refrained as much as possible from insulting each other only because every argument ended with injuries and trips to the hospital. Nothing too serious: a few broken and sprained bones, bruising, and, once, lacerations. Sasuke's neck had very, surprisingly, good looking scars that made a tendril pattern along his left shoulder and up his neck. It hadn't been fun to help clean up and, if not for the bastard admitting that he was the cause, not Naruto, he would have been in deep shit. Their brawls had already gained a rather special notoriety.

He washed the sparse dishes and then turned back to his cake. Once he had it flipped and properly covered he put it in the fridge, noticing a few things that Sasuke picked up. New milk, some veggies, a carton of eggs... then he looked closer and noticed a few things that the other loathed but he personally loved. Maybe it was a peace offering for the fact he hadn't called. He brushed the thought off and set his cake in the fridge.

He turned and jumped in fright and surprise to see Sasuke standing in the door watching him. He felt his face flame. He couldn't help but be embarrassed about being caught off guard.

"Uh, yeah?" He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. Sasuke didn't say anything but shook his head slightly. Naruto's brow furrowed and he felt a frown slip onto his face. "Anyway, how was your trip?"

"Fine. I went with Itachi and Kakashi to the usual spot." His voice was deeper than Naruto's, something he wasn't too happy about, but it suited him more. "Spent everyday out in the snow."

It was slightly mystifying how Sasuke could be so pale when he spent so much of his time out in the sun. Naruto always had a tan from surfing so the Sasuke's pale skin was yet another opposite trait.

"That's good then." He nodded, and then he was at a loss. He could count on one hand the civil conversations he had with Sasuke. Now he'd have to use two. Progress.

"What about you?"

Well, this was new. Sasuke rarely, if ever, inquired about him.

"I didn't have time for the waves. I've been helping around the school, being part of the carnival committee and all. I've been helping organizing the events."

"The one for the summer holidays?"

He nodded.

"When is it?"

"Two days. We're setting it up at the park. We'll have vendors and games and hopefully some rides. Nothing big, maybe some small ones. And fireworks. We're supposed to get a lot of those actually. Gaara can't wait."

Ah. Gaara. A sore subject with Sasuke. One fight too many with Naruto got spread around and the ever crazed resident psycho was knocking at their door. Not to defend Naruto's honor, but to demand a fight. With Sasuke. Imagine his surprise. As well as his anger when Gaara had been advised to just jump him as what harm could it do when they both had records already, and they both landed in the hospital. Sasuke had reopened the wound on his neck and shoulder and Gaara had his shoulder dislocated and more than his share of bruises.

"He's a pyromaniac and they're letting him operate the fireworks?" Sasuke's eyebrow raised in a look of pure disbelief and it was said so dryly that it had him smiling a bit.

"Well, he was the most qualified." He shrugged, feeling the odd smile still on his face as Sasuke snorted. "Besides, he'll have Neji for supervision."

Sasuke's mouth suddenly quirked into what Naruto believed was an honest-to-goodness smile. Then it disappeared and a familiar drawling tone appeared that Naruto realized he missed.

"Yeah. I'm sure he'll be supervised quite thoroughly."

Naruto was sure he missed the joke and frowned a bit.

"Anyway, everyone on the council had to bring a cake for the cake walk so that's what I was busy with." He waved a hand absently toward the fridge and nodded. "It's done now."

Sasuke twitched and Naruto could nearly see the effort he was putting into avoiding to make a rude comment. The idea made him frown, forgetting the slightly awkward but comfortable conversation they just had. He stared at the other, very aware that this was one of the first times he'd met Sasuke's eyes with little ill will. The other times were when he had just met the bastard and was yet unaware of his habits. Sasuke's eyes were black, not a dark brown or a very dark grey, but black. Light seemed to be absorbed instead of reflected and it made him shiver slightly.

Sasuke didn't move and he didn't appear to be breathing either. That was just a trick, Naruto knew, because Sasuke specialized in appearing statuesque and motionless. It didn't make it any less unsettling.

"So..." He trailed away, feeling more hot under the collar as that black gaze fell to his mouth and then steeled as their eyes met again. He knew his hand was trembling and casually slid it into his pocket, looping his thumb in his belt loop. Sasuke shifted, a hand slicking back part of that obnoxious hairstyle he was so fond of. They remained that way far longer than Naruto was comfortable with and it was broken in a rather unexpected way.

"Good night, Naruto." Sasuke smirked slightly, the hand he ran ran through inky black strands waving absently as he disappeared down the small hall to one of the bedrooms. Naruto backed into the counter and took a few deep breaths.

That was becoming unbearable. He was very aware that Sasuke was just recently upgraded in his personal stats from 'eye candy' to 'potential fuck buddy' and the wake of his exit had been startling. It didn't make him any less of a bastard. It just made him a very sexy bastard.

He felt like strangling him.

He thumped his head on the fridge, hoping that this weirdness would leave.

-X-

Two days later and Naruto was pissed. He was nearly beyond pissed and in so-thoroughly-fucking-pissed-off mode. That bastard wouldn't leave him alone. Every room he was in, so was Sasuke, excluding his bedroom and that was probably just because he couldn't find a good excuse. It was unsettling because he couldn't find a way to expose him and all his friends thought he was paranoid. Even worse, Sasuke hadn't once said a single thing to merit his temper. He had standards and wouldn't assault Sasuke unless he deserved it, but he was starting to get too angry to care.

Especially after the thing that would never, EVER, be remembered. He would like to forget that entire humiliating drea- nightmare, and he would like to forget it permanently. It was traumatizing enough when he was woken, yet again, by his loud and...enthusiastic...neighbors and it wasn't the first wet dream they interrupted, but it was the first he had been thankful they had. It hadn't looked like the sweet, kind guy who lived with his boyfriend next door was as...hardcore...as the sounds from the other side of the wall suggested. It had definitely twisted his dream because there was no way in hell that he was about to-

He nearly remembered again!

"God, kill me now." He buried his face in his hands and felt like crying. He caught a glance at his waist from between his fingers, where the sheets were tented. "You traitor."

Unappeased, the sheets didn't lower. Not even the frightening image he had seen once of Grannie Tsunade naked could quail the traitorous organ.

"I hope you're satisfied, damn it, because the bastard's not even that hot." As if to counter that argument, his mind brought the image from his dream of what exactly the bastard in question and himself had been involved in. Unconsciously, his hand began to move faster, a pleased moan slipping out. He bit his lip as he came to stop anymore traitorous occurrences. He collapsed back on his bed, reaching for the tissues and panting slightly from the exertion.

"Hurry up, dobe. Kiba's outside." Oh. God. What did he do to deserve this?

"Uh, thanks, Sasuke...." He felt like crawling under his bed to hide for the rest of his life. Please, if you have any kindness, he begged, don't let him have heard.

"You might want to actually make sure your door is shut when you do that kind of thing." Sasuke's voice definitely sounded amused and Naruto felt a bit of himself die.

"What?!" Horrified, he looked over seeing the door open just enough for anyone outside to get a good idea at what he had been doing, not to mention hear him doing.

"Later, moron." The door shut then, Sasuke's eyes shining oddly as he vanished, but he was too busy thinking of how to commit seppuku at the moment to notice.

"Satan has just gained another worshiper, you heartless bastard." He muttered darkly at the ceiling. "I bet he wouldn't have let him hear. I might have to give up my soul but this...this is worse." Obviously, no one was listening because the next second his door was assaulted by heavy knocking.

"Hey, Naruto! Need an audience to get the job done nowadays?" That. Absolute. Bastard. He would die. Very. Very. Slowly. Wait until he got his hands around that pretty white throat.

-X-

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad, Naruto." Sakura patted his arm as she placed another stack of leaflets down, taking another handful from the box he was carrying, trailing after her.

"Not that bad?! He saw me doing-I was-"

"Masturbating, Naruto. It's not a bad word." She rolled her eyes as he turned bright red and sputtered. "Honestly."

"You only say that cause you're studying to be a sex therapist."

"Truly, I'm not. And you should be glad I don't make you pay by the hour." She winked as he growled.

"It is not unresolved sexual tension or whatever the hell it was you called it! He is a mean, rude bastard and I don't find that part of him attractive no matter how good he looks!"

She laughed as a group of high school students passed, giggling and smiling at him. He might have been a little loud. He moaned and hung his head.

"I'm so unlucky. I'm going to die tonight, aren't I?"

"Don't sound so hopeful. And you are not unlucky." He looked at her, stonily. "Well, you may be a little. But I think that you need to talk to him about it. Make some kind of overture. Maybe, if you're really lucky, you'll get to fuck him and realize it was just tension and you won't feel that way anymore."

"Really?!" Hope shined on his face so brightly, she almost didn't have the heart to crush it ruthlessly. Almost.

"Of course not. You're in love with him. You want to kiss him. You want to touch him. You want to fuc-" She began to tease in a sing-song tone that had him gasping out half-hearted denials.

"Sakura!" She smirked before ruffling his hair.

"Okay Naruto. Here it is. You are attracted to Sasuke. You like him and I mean more than physically. You like that no matter what, no matter how much you fight, no matter how many times you argue, no matter how often you say you hate each other, he still lives with you. You like that you can call him the worst names you can think, fight him bloody, bitch about him constantly, and still be able to go home and get him to cook something just for you. You know, Naruto, Sasuke won't even cook for his brother."

He felt his mouth open and close without any sound coming out, unbelievably stunned. _Finally_, he thought, _someone came out and said it_. After that thought, though, he felt horrified that he felt that way at all. But, what Sakura had said about his brother, well, she would be the one to know, engaged and living with him and all...

"Don't try to argue with me on that one." She patted his arm and motioned him forward. "Come on, Naruto, let's get the rest of these handed out."

-X-

"Surely you see where I'm coming from, right, Gaara?" He swung his legs as he handed boxes down from the platform to the redhead, not even noticing the very dangerous, and very close to illegal, firework packages he was handling.

"So he saw you wanking. Get over it. Worse things happen."

"Yeah." He groaned darkly. "Like what?"

"He could have just raped you."

He paled. "Thanks, Gaara."

"Hey. You're the one that came to me with this. I'm not going to coddle you."

"Would you rape your roommate if you saw him doing that?!"

He received a flat look that made him think he was missing something.

"Uh, Gaara? You wouldn't, would you?"

"I think that is quite a bit too late."

"You raped your roommate?! What the hell, man?!"

"It's not rape if it's consensual." Gaara did look slightly angry that he even suggested that awful act.

"Then, you, with Neji. I-I-"

"We're dating, according to him."

"You're dating him?" He repeated, sounding a little lost.

"Yes." Gaara said the word slowly before smirking. "Uchiha didn't tell you?"

Naruto shook his head, eyes wide.

"Surprising. I wonder who he vented on then, when he walked in on us." He mused out loud. "Probably the pink girl. The sex therapist wannabe one."

"He walked in on you?! How's that happen?! He just opens your bedroom door and invites himself inside?!"

"Not every sexual encounter has a bed, Naruto."

He paled a bit. "You had sex right in public?"

"You sound like you never have." Gaara cleared his throat impatiently, gesturing for the next box. Naruto started, handed him the box and then promptly buried his face in his hands to hide the blush. "You've never shagged in public?" It was an utterly foreign concept to him.

"No!" Naruto seemed to shrink a bit more into himself. "Why would I do something like that in public?!"

"Thrill. Kink. Dunno." He smiled lewdly. "Though I gotta say, it heightens the thrill when there's a chance you'll be discovered."

"So if you're walked in on, it just makes the whole thing worth it, huh?" He said it sarcastically but stared in disbelief when Gaara shrugged.

"I happen to not mind an audience. Neji, on the other hand, he gets this cute blush when he realizes someone can see him acting so...bad." He voice deepened teasingly on the last word and made Naruto squeak.

"Sorry Gaara! Gotta go! Bye!" He jumped and ran off, not hearing Gaara's chuckles or Neji's inquiry after him as he fled.

-X-

Why would anyone do something so...intimate in public?! Why did all his friends not seem to have this hang up? Was it just him? Why was everyone else so comfortable about sex when he couldn't say the word without blushing? Why him?! It wasn't fair!

"Hi, Naruto. Are you having fun?" He stopped walking and looked up at Hinata as she stood at a booth, taking tickets for the Mirror House.

"Yeah. I've been a bit busy helping out though."

"Oh. Do you want to help me? Or just stay and talk?" Obviously, Kiba was doing something right with the girl because she was being unusually confidant. It wasn't unwelcome by any means though.

"Yeah! I just got done helping Gaara move the fireworks, so I've got time." He smiled good-naturedly and they started walking back to the booth.

"You look like you've been running." She said as she ripped a ticket handed to her.

"Uh, just in a hurry."

"Do you need to do something else?"

"No! No. I'm good."

"You know, I noticed something off about you, Naruto. Are you okay? You seem a little flushed."

"Nothing to worry about, Hinata. So, did you enjoy not having to run over every night to feed me?"

She smiled. "I had to stay and cook for Kiba and Akamaru. You're easier to cook for and you don't beg for dessert when dinner's done. Whenever I think I'm going to be getting a break, I have to get my hands sticky and dirty all over again."

"Yeah. That's something I can do on my own."

"I wish Kiba would do it on his own for once. You know, he didn't try at all the entire time I was helping you. He said that he couldn't get anything to work, no matter how many pictures he looked at, no matter what kind of show he was watching, no matter who he called, nothing matched up."

"Yeah. Sometimes it's hard to make the images match exactly."

"I've never had trouble making them match. It seems like the minute I get my fingers to work, I can't stop until that image is reality. It's like it's hovering right outside my vision, just waiting for me to reach it and when I do, it's like fireworks are going off. It just feel so good to do something like that with your own hands."

"Yeah. Cooking's always made me happy."

"I just wish he could cook too. He says my hands are the best and he just can't get anything to turn out right if he tries it himself. He uses all kinds of shortcuts and gadgets. You know, he even tried using Akamaru."

"What? The dog?" Okay, he wasn't feeling too good anymore. Why was this happening to him?!

"Yeah. I've tried a few times, doing stuff I know he wants and I've always wanted Kiba to know that Akamaru's just as important in this relationship as he is, especially when it comes to the kitchen, but does he listen?"

He didn't know how to respond to that. Something was telling him that he needed to run home, though, and take a very, very hot shower and never leave until he was in the right mind.

"I mean, I've let him lick up afterwords a few times, but he never seems too upset about that. It's only when I try to get him to go along with something experimental, does Kiba just fly off the handle. I mean, I was in the kitchen with Akamaru, trying to get the big lug to lick up the juice and cream from a bun, and Kiba just goes off. It's like he thinks I can't take care of Akamaru as well as he can. Does it seem that way to you, too, Naruto?"

He couldn't reply. He ran off, nearly trampling a family, making the father yell after him.

"Was that Naruto?"

She turned, seeing Kiba leading Akamaru to the stand, the poor dog still dressed in the costume from the play.

"Yeah. I guess he remembered something he had to do." She smiled up at him before kneeling to ruffle the dog's ears. "Sorry, Akamaru. I'll make it up to you later."

"Not those home-made dog-treats again."

"And why not?"

"They smell bad. They always make my food taste bad because I can taste it from the smell." Kiba complained.

"Then eat in the living room."

"And risk spilling and aggravating Shino's OCD? You must be joking."

-X-

What was he thinking? There was no way Hinata, of all people, would be into that kinda thing and he was a dirty, nasty pervert for even thinking that. Worse than that bastard Kakashi. Worse than Jiraiya. It was cause for worry.

He wasn't aware he had managed to trip himself until he felt the ground meet his face. He lay there in the trodden grass for a minute before moaning in pain. He pushed himself up and stayed, knees and shins on the ground along with his palms, the rest of him a few feet above ground. This was total shit. Why couldn't he catch a break?

"Nice fall." He could hardly believe his luck.

"Great. The neighbor." The taller man was leaning against the tree, a cigarette perched between his fingers as he exhaled a puff of smoke.

"And you're the noisy boy who was caught one-handed."

He felt his face flame. "How do you know about that?!"

"Overheard your roommate as we were leaving. Tough break, especially with the way you've been lusting after him and everything."

"What?!" His voice cracked. He might actually scream himself hoarse before the night was over. He jumped to his feet and began to look around nervously.

"Don't lie to me, kid. I do live next door. You know, you're not exactly subtle late at night."

"Really? I could say the same thing." He glared before he realized what was implemented. "Wait, what do you mean?"

"What did it sound like? Today wasn't the first time, trust me."

"But-But I don't remember any others!"

"I do. Unfortunately. It's not very satisfying when the room next door is screaming some other name, you know?"

"Shit." Naruto paled and swayed, falling on his ass. "No way."

"If I hear one more scream of "Sasuke!" mid-orgasm, I'm going to cut your throat. Now that, you're enlightened...."

"Zabuza!" They both turned to see a smaller man, closer to Naruto's age, approach and swat the cigarette from his hands. "I thought you said you were going to get a drink."

He shrugged, stomping the cherry-red tip of the cigarette out before he grinned at Naruto. It looked remarkably shark-like with the way his teeth were pointed and all.

"Sorry, Naruto. I can't seem to keep track of him." He shrugged helplessly as he was pulled by the waist back to the carnival. "And sorry about this morning too!"

"Haku!" Melodic laughter floated back to him. Zabuza's discomfort about his cute, innocent boyfriend mentioning their activities was obvious.

Naruto just watched them vanish, wondering what he'd done to deserve such torture. He definitely couldn't remember having dreams of those sort. And he couldn't remember being...vocal...about it either. He rubbed his face, slapping his cheeks a few times. Zabuza was just joking. A mean joke. A mean, cruel, untrue joke. It had to be. Surely, someone would have told him by now that he had been screaming Sasuke's name while enthralled in some warped wet dream.

-X-

"I've never suffered through so much in a single day." He remarked piteously, looking up at the sandy blond woman with big eyes.

"Aw. Poor you." She huffed. She couldn't get him to leave the stand and he was starting to scare away her customers. She winced as he squirted more flavoring into the mush that had once been a snow-cone.

"It's like everyone knows. I don't like him, really I don't." He began to suck the mess up through the straw, making squelching noises that were irritating. "Why does the entire world think I'm in love with him?"

"Maybe because you are." He began to protest and rant, a large portion of it sounding like practiced script. She rolled her eyes and held up a hand, stalling any more questions. "Listen. If you want to confirm it, just go to the cake walk. You'll learn a lot. Okay?"

"Kay." He began to reach for the flavoring again when she swatted his hand abruptly with her folded fan. "Ow!"

"Get moving!"

"Fine!"

-X-

What answers could he possibly get at the cake walk? Ino and Tenten would be running the booth and he knew that neither of them would have the answer to this particular riddle.

Imagine his surprise when he came within sight of the cake walk and found Sasuke himself in a very heated argument with Ino and Tenten. Deciding it might be wiser to wait, he watched in disbelief as the two girls threw their hands up in defeat and scowled at him. That smirk he was so familiar with spread itself over Sasuke's face as he handed Ino what appeared to be a very decent amount of money and Tenten carried something over. He took the prize from her with covetous hands and seemed to preen in the face of this victory before stalking off, with... Naruto's... cake!

"What the hell?!" He whispered furiously. Temari must have known that bastard was going to steal the cake! Now, it was only a matter of finding out what exactly he was planning to do with it. And there was only one way to solve that! He had to tail him!

Which lead straight to nowhere. He forgot Sasuke's annoying tendency to vanish in crowds even though he should have brought attention to himself. After all, the guy was put together by the gods and should have attracted attention to himself just by existing. Sakura's words, not his. Sulking, he found his way to the tables that had been set up earlier for the eating contests and plopped down, glaring at the lights that were strung up between the booths. This wasn't fair. He put a lot of love and care into making that cake; it was his favorite kind! Now it would be all ruined because that prissy bastard bribed the girls into giving up the cake. Jerk.

He glanced up when he saw the first set of fireworks go off, smiling in spite of his mood. Fireworks always made him feel like he was a little kid all over again, sitting on his dad's shoulders and pointing. Gaara had obviously been very meticulous in organizing the light show because they went non-stop and all in all, it was very beautiful. He stood up, craning his neck to watch one go up when he noticed a dark shape in the corner of his eye.

He turned and was stunned into silence when he saw Sasuke quite a distance away but in very plain sight. He, too, was watching the fireworks and they lit up the normally white color of his skin. He stared hungrily before he realized what he was doing and brought his jaw shut with a click. This was not the time to be staring at him like some lust-driven girly-girl. No! Now he knew where the bastard had disappeared to and could reclaim his cake without a worry. He might have to fight the bastard, but he was clearly going to win. Plan firmly in mind, he untangled himself from the bench seat and strode over to where Sasuke was lounging.

"Bastard!" He stopped in front of him pointing dramatically and filled with rage. Until Sasuke looked up and met his gaze, the exploding fireworks lighting up the black with a few sparkles of color, then all thoughts he had previously entertained slipped away like smoke. He found that he couldn't quite get any words to form and lowered his hand self-consciously.

"Dobe." He smirked, a glitter of amusement lighting his eyes brighter than the fireworks. "Any particular reason you ran over to see me?"

That unstuck his tongue. "You bribed Ino and Tenten so you could sabotage my cake!"

That also seemed to make the amusement leak out of Sasuke's eyes and turn very surprised, and, dare he say it, slightly afraid.

"What?"

"I saw you walk off with my cake after you paid off Ino!"

At least he had the dignity to look sheepish about it. For all of two seconds.

"Yeah, I did. Want some?" Then, as if some body-snatcher had possessed him, Sasuke proceeded to lift a plastic fork he had acquired from somewhere, unwrap the dessert and spear a maraschino cherry. Naruto watched as Sasuke lifted the cherry to his lips, swirl his tongue around it once and then slid the fork into his mouth in slow motion. He pulled the fork back, empty, and chewed slowly, making a grand show of a small thing, but Naruto was rapturous. A devilish gleam was shining in the brunette's eyes as he noticed Naruto's eyes watching his throat as he swallowed.

Naruto was feeling very out of place. There were so many things wrong with this scene. Like Sasuke eating dessert. Like Sasuke looking as good as the dessert. Like the fact that his mouth went dry. Like the fact that his palms were starting to sweat. Like the fact that if he dove on Sasuke and tried to taste the cherry flavor inevitably left behind in the other man's mouth he wouldn't have minded in the least. It was very bizarre.

"What the hell is going on?!" He managed to get out, making the other jump from the sheer volume of the question.

"I'm eating cake."

"Exactly! You don't like sweets! That's why you never eat anything I make!" He accused, finger once again, pointing accusingly.

That said, Sasuke's face did, very briefly, turn a light pink color, but that could have easily been attributed to the fireworks still going on behind them.

"I don't. This kind is my favorite though." Naruto was, again, silent. "You know, if I knew that was all it took to shut you up, I would have said it the first ten minutes of meeting you. Think of all the silent time I'd have then."

It was, upon reflection days later, the absolute worst attempt at humor Sasuke had ever tried and he would subsequently be harassed about it by both his brother and the perverted scarecrow. Naruto, laughingly, would provide a feeble defense because at least he appreciated the attempt as he couldn't have made his mouth work for anything, perhaps barring this single horrendous jibe.

"But that can't be your favorite! It's mine! Where would you even eat it at? I've never made it here before!"

"I had it in the States when I boarded there." He said defensively, noting that they, finally, had one single trait that they were the same on.

"But-But-" He couldn't remember his argument and, this more open and generous side of Sasuke was disconcerting when merely a week ago they had had an awful argument about something or other. All he could clearly remember was Sasuke's angry, flushed face mere inches from his own scowl, both panting and tense, as a prelude to the minor fist-fight that was quickly remedied by Kakashi's interruption. That same face that had been contorted into quite a different, yet eerily similar, expression in the depths of Naruto's psyche. He was finally beginning to see what everyone had been suggesting. It wasn't as terrible to admit as he thought.

Sasuke was staring at the dessert, face twisted into a concerned frown and seemed very deep in thought. This wasn't quite what he had in mind when he had hidden out here but it seemed any plan concerning Naruto was ill-fated. As it was, he had no clue how to proceed and still attain the desired result. At least, not until Naruto made the next move.

Naruto was still in a bit of a spot. It seemed that the weight of everyone's advice had finally descended to his shoulders and rooted down. Had they all seen what he had missed? Was it really all just sexual tension or did he truly, honestly like Sasuke? Regardless of what thoughts were running through his mind, his face was still filled with affronted disbelief and very mild anger. It wasn't very relaxing either that Naruto was still practically towering over where Sasuke sat on the tabletop, looking pissed.

In a very bold move that would have him blushing in the future, Naruto seemed to come to a conclusion and bent forward, pressing his mouth to Sasuke's in a very chastise kiss. _That clinches it then_, he thought, _I actually do like this bastard._ His eyes slid shut and he moved one hand to Sasuke's face. Sasuke had yet to respond at all, making this seem like a really bad idea.

Then Naruto was absolutely certain his brain melted because Sasuke responded and, gods yes, he could taste that maraschino cherry. More than that though, it was very startlingly real. He expected kissing Sasuke to seem oddly unnatural and awkward, regardless of what they had been up to in his dreams. He could feel Sasuke's tongue in his mouth, wrapping and massaging around his, moving to map out the rest of his mouth. He jumped when he felt lean arms wrap around his waist and haul him into a leaner body. He settled for wrapping his around broad shoulders, which were only a little wider than his own. It felt... Good. Perfect. Right.

"What took you so long?" Sasuke murmured as he trailed his lips along a jaw he had cracked once before. There was a sharp intake of breath before Naruto's shoulders relaxed a bit.

"Me? What about you? I'm not the only one in this mess." He tilted his head to the side, wanting Sasuke's mouth to find that spot on his neck that he especially loved. He groaned appreciatively when he felt a warm mouth and hot tongue lap exactly where he wanted it to. "Besides, I thought you were straight. You never gave me any idea you weren't."

"Naruto." He nipped hard at the blond's collarbone, making the other wince slightly. "When did I ever give the impression that I was straight?"

He only shrugged, gasping slightly, before his hands emboldened. "You weren't exactly ogling the cute boys, you know."

"I was ogling you." His head fell back a bit as Naruto's fingers discovered a very sensitive bundle of nerves at the center of the scars on his neck. His eyes were half-lidded as he looked up at Naruto, smirking. "Can't believe you never caught me. Then again... I am talking about you..."

"Bastard." He hissed as he felt Sasuke's hands move to hold his hips, thumbs brushing his hip bones. "You're a fucking pervert."

"I'm not the one moaning my name in my sleep, having one off the wrist, am I?" He smirked in amusement, nearly laughing as Naruto's eyes went wide.

"Fucker! You're the reason everyone knows about that! I'm not going to forgive you for it!" He glared as much as he was able o, before a leery smirk twisted the scowl. "Besides, you're moaning my name."

"Fair enough." He narrowed his eyes and pushed Naruto back a bit. Just for a small breather. "Want to have it out here or are your sensibilities too delicate for that?"

As unappealing as it was to be doing something like that out for the whole world to see, Naruto found himself split on the issue. Gaara said it was for kink or thrill and judging by Sasuke's suggestion it seemed they agreed, but he felt it was more of an issue of challenge. Would he back out and act the coward before his rival? Or would he not only accept the challenge but also push Sasuke to be the one to blink first? The answer was decided the minute Sasuke had pushed him.

"We'll settle this here. If you're lucky you might not even get splinters." He spit back, keeping his advantage of standing and towering over the seated boy. Sasuke laughed softly, a hand moving up to grab his collar and pull him down. He moaned, very delighted, into the kiss and for once, couldn't complain about the other boy at all. Because, honestly, that tongue. Yummy. He also couldn't quite remember what his foster father had pounded into his head about sex; that is, location, location, location! The fact it was a wooden picnic table right smack dab in the middle of the park during a carnival blissfully vanished. As did his t-shirt. And Sasuke's. And someone's pants.

Bare skin was wonderful, especially when it was so smooth and warm. He felt like he was going to die from all the heat. So much better than trying to kick the pale boy's ass. Speaking of. He lowered his hands so they were gripping that deliciously firm ass as he pushed Sasuke back on the bench.

"When exactly, Naruto, did we decide you were going to top?" Sasuke had to pant out the words because, honestly, what Naruto's hands were capable of on his neck paled in comparison to what that tongue could do.

"Which of us has gay sex experience?" He raised a brow, obviously very secure in knowing, at this, he would have the upper hand.

"Just because you thought I was straight doesn't mean everyone else did." He grabbed a handful of blond hair and pulled him away from his neck so he could glare at the boy. "Besides," He then flipped them so he was settled between tan legs and crouched over Naruto like a jungle cat. "When have you ever won one of our fights?"

Blue eyes narrowed and a retort was on the tip of his tongue, when it was lost somewhere between his brain and mouth, because Sasuke had chosen that moment to lap at his nipple like a starving man. "Shit." He gasped out as he felt a pale hand rise to toy with the other.

"Thought so." He sounded so damn smug about it but, for once, he let it go. Sasuke raked his nails ever so softly downward, eyes fixated on the tattoo Naruto had on his stomach. "Do you have any idea how many times I've wanted to follow that spiral with my mouth?" His voice was a bit more hoarse than usual but Naruto's attention was elsewhere. Like on exactly how enjoyable an experience that would be.

"Yes." He tugged those long, black bangs, trying to pull Sasuke to his body. "Please, damn it!"

"Since you asked so nicely." Naruto felt his toes curl. Honest to god. It was wonderful. Hot. His body flexed as Sasuke neared the center, darting his tongue into and out of his bellybutton. He groaned, wiggling as Sasuke's hands held his hips still. He found a new trail, a fine line of blond hair that led straight down to a very welcome prize. He pressed one hand to the table below them and leaned up on it, hovering over Naruto's body as his free hand picked up the trail.

"Fuck." Naruto finally managed to get out, because Sasuke's hand was perfect, because the bastard looked so damn sexy, beautiful, so everything, hovering over him. His hands twitched as he tried to decide just what he wanted to do. It was so hard to think with Sasuke working him over like it was the last time they'd ever see each other. The only time he'd ever felt anything like this was in those secret dreams. He knew his hand was shaking as he trailed it over Sasuke's side, down to lean hips. He had to lean up on his elbow to capture that sweet mouth, free hand moving forward to return the favor.

Sasuke's moan was well worth the pain his elbow was in. He couldn't help but be a little rougher with the pale boy as his hips were already thrusting helplessly into that controlling hand. He had experience with this. He was good at it and he wasn't going to let Sasuke forget that. Sasuke's cock was the perfect weight and warmth, weeping into his hand and he repressed the urge to drag his hand up to his lips and taste. He wanted Sasuke to be in the exact same position he was in, straining to hold back the rising pressure building within, though, if he didn't stop soon, this was not going to end the way he wanted it to.

"Sasuke." It was the first time he said the boy's name in such a way consciously. He loved the way the other responded to it, nearly becoming putty in his hands. "Sasuke, if you don't, fuck, do it now, so help me, mmm, god! I will kick your ass."

Sasuke laughed, that deep throaty chuckle that never failed to send shivers up his spine. And apparently made his cock jump as well. He squeezed a little harshly in retaliation, more pleased than surprised when Sasuke shook and groaned a plea. He knew Sasuke liked it a bit on the harder side. His action didn't go missed and wasn't about to be unpunished.

"As you wish." Sasuke whispered, settling back between Naruto's thighs. He bit and licked his way upwards, hands holding hips down as the blond tried to struggle away. He breathed heavily against Naruto's very wet arousal, tasting the precum as it coated the dark pink flesh. The resulting gasp made him shiver. Naruto's voice could probably push him over the edge if they ever tried.

"Sasuke." Tan hands were holding silky, black hair barely resiting the urge to force himself deep into the pale boy's throat. Oh, Sasuke was pure evil and Naruto was positive that he was never going to forgive Sasuke for waiting so long to do this. If Sasuke had just tackled him and given him a blow-job months ago, Naruto was sure he wouldn't have fought back in the least. "You're a fucking god, you absolute bastard."

"Insults while your dick's in my mouth. You're really not too bright, are you, Na-ru-to?" Like a cat, Sasuke lapped at him again, eyes catching Naruto's. He truly looked beautiful like that. Pale skin everywhere was hued different colors as the fireworks were launched into the sky above them. Lips were wrapped around his cock like a whore servicing johns in the alley and he staring up at him with those damn black eyes. Why was he fighting against this earlier?

Sasuke seemed to take his breathy moans and his half-panted name as confirmation as he moved along. His hips were temporarily released as one of Sasuke's hands began to stroke him again and the other was presented to his lips. Catching three fingers, he emulated Sasuke's previous ministrations. A pink tongue licked dry lips as black eyes watched Naruto give his fingers a perfect blow-job. He pulled his fingers away, desperate to reclaim that territory for himself. Jealous over his own fingers. He'd contemplate it later. Those fingers had another job.

One finger circled the puckered hole and he could feel Naruto relax under him as he gave it the slightest push. This would be tight and uncomfortable unless Sasuke was incredibly careful and Naruto relaxed. He pushed until the first knuckle was inside, moving gently and pressing. He increased the speed on his other hand, drawing Naruto deeper into his kiss.

Naruto was positive he was putty now. He couldn't have tensed if he wanted to, regardless of Sasuke's probing fingers. Spit definitely wasn't his lubricant of choice, but he wasn't about to stop and ask to move. Besides, he'd experience worse and a little pain was as much a part of his life as it was Sasuke's. One finger was nearly effortless and two wasn't very different. He had a high pain tolerance but Sasuke was treating him like glass. He felt warm inside, knowing that Sasuke never treated him with any tenderness before but now seemed to tremble at the thought of hurting him. Three fingers were pumping in and out of him, in time to Sasuke's other hand. He thrust eagerly, blindly following Sasuke wherever he wanted to go.

"Sasuke! Fuck!" His back arched impossibly high as his prostate was pressed and fingers squeezed the head of his cock. "Don't stop. Never stop." His head actually started to throb as he slammed it back, lips immediately latching onto his throat.

"Naruto." He growled, deep and low. He could feel it vibrate into his own chest. Blue eyes cracked open, meeting Sasuke's black. He gave a jerky nod, whimpering as Sasuke removed his fingers. Empty. Needed filled. Now.

Sasuke slicked his own erection in a combination of precum and spit. This was going to be a slow process but it would be more than worth it. His chest actually _physically_ ached at the thought of being buried inside that smaller body. Naruto was spread out under him like a lust-ridden offering and it was all he could do to hold back his impatience. He gripped Naruto's hips in a bruising grasp, guiding himself to Naruto's entrance. He felt a hand in his hair and another on top of the one on his hip. He glanced up briefly, biting his lip at the pure lust in that gaze. Why had he waited so long for this?

"Naruto." Another jerky nod and Sasuke pressed forward, moving his hand to Naruto's erection. He pumped it as the head was pushed inside and Naruto tensed. "Relax."

He gasped at the intrusion, feeling a hand rub and massage his tense body. He relaxed, enjoying the sensation more as Sasuke lowered himself slowly. There was a burn that followed after, but he'd had sunburns that caused more grief. This was Sasuke, though, and he could tolerate anything that had Sasuke deep inside him. He bit his lip to keep from crying out. It was uncomfortable, to be sure, and he wasn't sure how much longer he would actually hold out without crying in pain. Then Sasuke did something, lord knows where he learned it, but his prostate was pressed into directly and Sasuke's hand twisted in a few long strokes around his cock. He couldn't stop his thrust upwards and gasped silently as Sasuke slid in the rest of the way effortlessly, riding the waves of his pleasure.

"God. Fuck. Sasuke." He couldn't even form other words, not with Sasuke buried so deep inside, hard and throbbing wonderfully. He met Sasuke's eyes, the pale boy actually shaking very slightly. Thin lips twisted into a familiar smirk, and he gave a very shallow thrust. Naruto growled. Sasuke shivered. Naruto's legs were around his waist and fingers were digging into his shoulders. Sasuke moaned. Naruto pushed back against Sasuke, eyes bright with challenge. Sasuke's eyes actually brightened, a light shining in the deep dark.

"Want you. Always wanted you." Sasuke growled right back, a hand holding Naruto's hips as he pulled back and slammed in. Naruto gave up coherency and just nodded quickly, urging the other on. "Naruto." Sasuke had snarled his name, backing it with very deep, very powerful thrusts.

Naruto was sure this was what it felt like to be fucked senseless. He was positive that this was what unresolved sexual tension caused and hell, it was paradise. UST, however, didn't quite explain the ferocious amount of happiness and fierce possessiveness that swelled in his chest. He was very satisfied that he'd driven Sasuke to this level of unconstrained and pure lust. This was his. He was the only one who could drive Sasuke this far, make him this intense. The thought that he'd ever have to let this go sobered up the drunk on passion atmosphere a little and he raked his nails down Sasuke's back.

"Mine." He growled too, a deep sound that scared him a bit. Sasuke stopped for a second, eyes focusing on him clearly. He nodded firmly, grabbing one of Naruto's hands and twining them together. Their palms were sweaty and sticky and Naruto's fingers only clenched tighter the faster Sasuke thrust against him.

Their eyes stayed locked on one another until Naruto let out a loud cry for Sasuke to go faster. Sasuke hissed as the legs tightened on his waist and a hand fisted his hair, but it was a delicious pain and he obeyed the command. His other hand was helping Naruto rock his body into Sasuke, surely leaving bruises in its wake. Naruto could feel all the tension from before returning and pressing him higher and higher, sending him to the edge. He knew Sasuke was close as well, and that vicious delight was back. Sasuke was panting for breath and Naruto drug him down, stealing valuable air, but Sasuke couldn't find it in himself to complain. It was sloppy, wet and they couldn't seem to avoid accidentally biting one another, but it was intense and their bodies never stopped. Naruto couldn't stop the breathless whimper that slipped out and he was pushed to the precipice, unable to come until Sasuke let him. Damn it! He was so close!

What followed happened in such quick succession that it would be hours before either of them could properly recall what happened. The fireworks reached the climax, ending abruptly but in time for them to hear an ominous creaking sound from underneath them, which was ignored because Naruto screamed out Sasuke's name, climaxing. Sasuke had yelled Naruto's, masking the horrified shriek of a woman and her family. The picnic table then collapsed under their combined weight and due to their improper use, making the oblivious couple, suddenly and rudely, very aware of their surroundings.

"Here, boys. I think you'll need them." Sasuke, though sluggish, recovered enough to guess what had happened and caught the pants two very amused police officers threw at them.

-X-

"You know, when you came running for help and panicking simply because you left your door open while wanking, I honestly didn't think you'd ever have the balls to go dogging during a carnival. Kids saw you, you know."

"Gaara. Shut the hell up." He buried his face in his hands, refusing to look up at the driver. That damn bastard was smirking beside him in the back seat. He could tell simply because of the body language. "I'm already going to get the lecture from Iruka."

"I'm just saying. After finally coming out about liking the bastard, you go and shag him through the park bench."

"Picnic table! It was a picnic table! And no one would have known about it if it hadn't collapsed! I should sue or something!" Sasuke was shaking with suppressed laughter, actually biting his finger to stop from laughing out loud. Gaara had no such reservations, knowing that Naruto would never assault the driver of a moving vehicle, and laughed his ass off.

"I don't think it would have mattered, Naruto. You're a little...vocal."

"Sasuke!" He punched the raven in the arm. Hard.

"No seriously. I think they heard you over the fireworks."

"Shut up, bastard!"

"Nicely timed, though, Gaara. I think the fireworks finished about the same time as we did."

"Fuck you both, assholes." Naruto hid his darkly flushed face, glaring out the window. Damn that bastard. See if he was ever coming near his ass again. For at least a week. He winced as he crossed his arms. Not only was he scuffed up from the fall, but his ass hurt, his hips were bruised and he probably looked like a tiger tried to kill him. To think, he'd warned the bastard about splinters. Maybe a more accurate warning would have been about the loose screws and rickety boards. "Aw shit!"

"What?" Sasuke did look concerned, in his own bastard-ish way. "Naruto?"

"My cake was ruined and I didn't get to eat any of it!"

"Make a new one. We can share it this time." Sasuke whispered into his ear, making him grin and shiver despite the fact he was still pissed.

Being caught having sex in public, exhibiting open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior, and destroying public property had resulted in one night in a holding cell and a fine of three hundred thousand yen. Finding out your roommate isn't a total dick, shares dessert interests, and can make you feel like a hero when you're utterly humiliated was priceless. For all that he'd protested that he utterly hated the bastard, that there was noting more than that and being appalled at the mere thought of being more, when it really came down to it, for everything else, he really loved him. And the bastard knew it.

"So, Naruto, I'm guessing it was good?"

"Shut up and drive, Gaara. Shut the fuck up and drive."

"So can I call you my favorite dessert now?"

"Only if I can call you my schnookums."

"Point taken."

"Just kiss me, you emo bastard."

"Maybe I don't want to kis-"

"Oy! I'm trying to drive here!"

Naruto was too busy at the moment to respond. Or care.


End file.
